Hiking in the Superstitions

Two weekends ago, Mark and I took our little family hiking in the desert. We went to Usery Park which is about 20 min from our house. It was a cool spring day and we had a great time hiking up a little mountain then back down again. There was a playground at the end of the trail and we had a picnic lunch.

Here are some photos from our hike.

We'd love to do it again soon, so if you want to join us, let me know!

Parenting Styles

I'm the full-time parent. And, obviously, Mark is the one with a great relationship with our little toadlets. He's the patient, full-of love and long suffering father.

And I love it.

So, here's a typical evening out with the children, like tonight at a friend's birthday picnic.

Me greeting Hostess: "Happy Birthday! It's so good to see you! Thanks for inviting us . . . ." (continues to talk for 10 minutes)

Mark: (carrying Fin, dragging Asher, and hollering after Jaxon) "Jess, do you want to sit over there?"

Me: "Sure honey, just a sec. " (continues chatting)

Mark: (finds a place to sit, corrals children, eyes table for possible foods that children will actually eat)

Me: (joining family) "Are you guys ready to eat?"

Mark and Me: (go to table and get food)

Mark: (sits down and gives a plate of food to Asher, helps Finley eat some watermelon, looks for Jaxon who's off playing on the hammock)

Me: "mmm, this sandwich is delicious. I think the salad turned out pretty well."

Mark: "Did you get any food for Jaxon?"

Me: (frowning) "Uh, no." (continues eating)

Mark: (returns to table to get food for himself.) (upon return) "Jess, what is Finley eating? Did you give that to him?"

Me: (confused) "What? Oh, yeah, I think Asher did" (continues to visit with friends)

Mark: (looking for Jaxon) "Well, I think Jaxon's going to skip dinner tonight"

(continues for 1 hour)

Mark: (exhausted) "I think it's time to go"

Me: (disappointed) "Already?"

Mark: "Yes. I'll get the kids, you get the stuff."

Me: "Well, there's not that much stuff, let's go together."

(we get to the van, and get home)

Me: "Where's the salad bowl? Did we forget it?"

Mark: "I guess. You were supposed to get the stuff."

Me: "Crap. I love that salad bowl."

The End.

And I wonder why Mark doesn't like to go places with the kids!?

Always Crack Your Windows!

We had a scary experience today.
After a quick trip to Walmart with Ash and Fin (yes, I do now shop at Walmart) I dumped the stuff in the car and wheeled the kids down to a furniture store to look for bar stools and waste a few minutes before I had to pick up Jaxon from day camp.
When I came back 10 or 15 minutes later, I noticed the sliding passenger door on my mini-van was still open (gasp!) and the people next to me were loading in their groceries. Well, that was stupid, I forgot to shut the door with my key when I left.
So, I loaded Asher into his carseat, buckled him, tossed in my purse, shut the door and went around the van to put Finley into his seat. Unfortunately his side was locked. So, I went back around to Asher's door, which was also locked. (I had locked the car without shutting the door before I went to the furniture store)
"No way!," I thought. I've never done this before and it's 103 degrees outside.
Asher was already crying about something else, so I just went as fast as I could into Walmart and asked for help. The nice old lady told me she would get security to help me. I asked for a hanger because my windows were cracked and I thought I could pull the lock up. They didn't have a hanger, but I saw a feather duster with medium length handle (not long like a broom). I ran back out to the car and shoved the straight end into the 2 inch gap of my windows and realized I couldn't hook it over the lock to pull it up.
But, I did see the lock switch and I managed to get the handle over there to push the switch up, unlocking all doors at once.
Hooray!
Asher was hot and sweaty. He was still fussy, but I gave him his water and turned on the A/C.
By this time, an onlooker was glad to see me get the car open and said to his 2 year old daugher, "I'm going to teach you how to unlock the car." It's a good idea, especially if they're not buckled in.
As I was leaving, the old lady and security guard were walking through the parking lot looking for me.
I honked, stopped, got out, and gave them back the duster with a big thanks.
Then they informed me that the fire trucks were on their way. "Really?" I asked.
Yes, because they don't waste any time when a child is locked in the car.

Whew, it was a little scary, and I will remember to always keep my keys with me until I sit down and start the car.
A little blessing and a reminder to always keep the windows cracked.

The Gift of Friendship

 I don't remember when I met Brittany. I think it was in junior high. She was a cheerleader (but, I didn't like them too much) and I think she wore glasses, but I'm not sure.
During the summer after junior high, Brittany was involved in a terrible car accident. She was the passenger and was seriously injured. Her face was really cut up from the windshield and she spent a fair amount of time in the hospital.

Our friendship blossomed during HS, where we shared crazy-hard AP classes and made trips to Dairy Queen when we should have been studying. Brittany had the best of both worlds, she was cute and popular, but also smart and down-to-earth. Even though she had it all, I still remember watching her squeeze small pieces of glass from the scars on her face years after her car accident. She never made a big deal about it, but I know it was a very traumatic event that was difficult to overcome.

Fast forward 2 years. The summer of 2000, Britt are friends from a distance, because she went to Ricks when I went to BYU. Still, we're delighted to find that we're both getting married, in the same temple, 2 weeks apart (in the same room!) She looks great on her wedding day, cute curly hair and a slightly tilted tiara (which I tried to 'fix,' much to her dismay.) She is so happy. She snagged a great guy, an engineer named Doug.

After that, we're both at BYU, Britt and I hang out with our husbands as newlywed couples to play Rook and learn how to be married. Before too long, Britt is pregnant. Savannah is born in November of 2001 and she has some difficulties. The diagnosis is Russell Silver Syndrome, a very rare congenital disorder. Savannah won't breastfeed or take a bottle, and her severe reflux means she has to be fed through a tube in her nose. When we were both at Wyview, Mark and I babysat Savannah once or twice. We learned a lot and really enjoyed her cute babyness (I also got prepped for my kids who had projectile vomiting.)

The next July, Jaxon was born and diagnosed with severe hemophilia. Brittany was one of the first people I called. She cried with me as we talked about our special kids. I remember how comforting it was to have a friend how knew first-hand the disappointment and fear that I felt.

The years have passed and we have both moved back to Arizona and have our second babies: Brittany had Mikenna in 2003 and I had Asher in 2006.

While she was pregnant with her third child and first boy, Britt was finishing up nursing school. She asked me to watch her girls while she did her last semester. So, her girls and my boys played a few times a week. I enjoyed watching them grow and play together. In March I found out I was pregnant with Finley just as Britt was in her 3rd trimester with Daxton. He was born May 31st 2007, just before she took and passed her nursing licensing test.

A year later, it's harder to get together as much because we have six kids between the two of us and Brittany works part-time at a hospital's NICU. We still get go on double dates or family picnics occasionally, but not as often as we'd like.

One week ago today, Brittany sent out an email that broke my heart.
While she and her husband were hiking back from a weekend at Havasupai, her 12 month old baby Daxton was killed in a household accident. Four hours later they came to the hospital to say goodbye to their little boy who just turned one. In the days that have followed, I have thought about her and her family, and how much I love them.
I visited Brittany and hugged her. She cried. I cried. I held her hand while she told me about the casket she'd just picked out, "It's so small," she wept.
But, I can't comfort her in the way that she comforted me nearly 6 years ago. I don't know how it feels to lose a child.

I just know how much it hurts to watch a friend I love lose her child.

It's terrible. Even now, exactly a week later, I don't feel better. The funeral was intense, but the highlight was when Brittany and Doug shared their memories of baby Daxton. Although the chapel was full of united sobs and sniffles, there was a spirit of hope and healing.

So, tonight I wanted to write about my friendship with Brittany. Our lives have been entwined, and strangely parallel. And although I don't know if I'll ever stop grieving for her loss, I know that I'll never stop being her friend. She's gone through so many difficult trials, and she always comes away stronger. Everybody needs a friend like that.