On Separation and Reunion

I took this photo on a hike to Secret Falls. I used my polarizing lens (thanks Nate and Sandrine) and it made the water look misty.

Last week's trip to Kauai was the first time I've ever left Mark and the kids for more than 2 or 3 days. My trip was wonderful and I hope to post more photos soon, but in the meantime, I want to reflect on what I learned about our marriage while I was gone.

In case you didn't know, I went to Kauai with my two single cousins and we spent most of our time hiking, snorkeling, and watching the waves from our lanai (porch). Through our many fabulous adventures, I learned to live in the moment, to enjoy each activity without worrying about what had just happened or what was next. Of course this was easier to do in paradise and without anyone to take care of except me, but it taught me a lesson about how much happier I felt when I was truly present.

In my absence, Mark spent time thinking about how it feels to be the one left behind, while his spouse was gone living in the moment. It was a good lesson for him and helped him realize how important it is to share experiences in marriage and to live life side-by-side. He spoke to me over the phone about how he was doing fine with taking care of the kids and the house, but that he really missed me. He knew I was doing things without him and he felt like a little piece of him was missing. From what he said, he came to understand that we both enjoy life more when we experience it together. I absolutely agreed.

Our reunion was sweet. Kisses, roses and squeals from Mark and the kids (though only the kids were squealing). At the risk of undermining his masculinity, Mark admitted to having butterflies in his stomach the night before I returned. I was pretty excited to see him, too.

The days that have followed have been better than I ever could have expected. It's like second honeymoon. Mark and I are more considerate, more loving, and much more in tune to each other. We both love it and hope that it continues for at least a few more weeks (we know it can't last forever).

So, in the end, I realized that instead of being entirely selfish, my trip to Kauai was the very best thing I could have done for my marriage. In each other's absence, we realized even more how much we loved each other. Not a bad realization to come home to.