December Laughs

Christmas photos to come, here are our kids' funny quotes this month. Check out November's here.

Here's the photo quote from last week:

Do you mean meditating?

12-1-09 For some unknown reason, Jaxon is trying to procure $100. He says he wants to go to Hollywood.
Me: "How are you going to get $100?"
Jaxon: "I don't know . . . maybe if I win something."
Me: "Like what?"
Jaxon: "A singing contest or something."

Upon further discussion, I also discover that Jaxon intends to buy a Junie B Jones book and pay tithing with his $100.

12-3-09 Jaxon is getting frustrated at our conversation. I've asked him to do too many things and he says, "Take it easy on your son, Mom. You're driving me crazy." (then with big gestures) " I can wreck this whole house up. I can take off the roof!"

12-5-09 Speaking about his pet fish Herman, Jaxon laments, "I just wish he could sleep in my bed! If he was my wife he could."

12-7-09 This is when our new kitty arrives. Perhaps God was worried that the fish would end up in Jaxon's bed.

12-9-09 Upon discovering our egg slicer in the kitchen drawer, Jaxon excitedly asks, "Mom, can we make egg sandwiches today?!?" After a split-second pause wherein he realizes he may be asked to eat the egg sandwiches, he says in a very quiet and fast voice, "None for me, thanks."
That's how Jaxon has a conversation with himself.

12-9-09 I talked to Jaxon's teacher today and she tells me about a band concert that the entire school attended. The first graders were in the front and after the band teacher introduces each section, "Woodwinds, brass, percussion, etc" Jaxon asks her loud enough for the whole school to hear, "What about the French Horn?" The entire school busts up laughing.

12-14-09 After his goodnight hug, Asher complains, "Your fur is tickling me."

12-17-09 Jaxon earned a RED at school today which means he broke the rules many times. We talked about it long and hard and at one point Jaxon says, "I got a red because of white flour!" He quotes from Professor Fizzy who explains that white flour doesn't have any vitamins or other good stuff, that your body uses it up too quickly, it makes you crazy, and then "Bam!" you're hungry again. White flour was the topic of many of this month's funny situations.

12-18-09 Jaxon decides today is Milo's (our new cat) birthday. After singing him a wonderful birthday song I say, "Jaxon you are such a sweet boy." He responds, "I know. I'm really kind to animals. I hope Milo doesn't die."

Me, too Sweetie. I have a bad track record.

12-20-09 Asher pretends to cut my hair, "Just belax, just belax."

After baths, Jaxon tells Mark and I that Asher has a red spot on his bum. He starts to guess its origins, "Maybe it's a mosquito bite or a vampire bite."

The funniest story this month was from December 3rd, the night of Asher's preschool program.
On our way to the show, Jaxon was telling me about his friend Austin's mom who volunteers in his classroom. He says casually, "Actually mom, she's kind of prettier than you. Her hair is blonde."

Then Jaxon tells Mark, "But you're the handsomest daddy of all the kids at my school. Actually, you're the handsomest daddy in the whole world."

To prove his point Jaxon keeps pointing to men who are not as good looking as Mark, indicating that indeed, Daddy is the most handsome man ever.

When we arrive at the church for Asher's program, one of our friends, Brett, is there with his kids and he holds the door open for Jaxon. At this point, Jaxon glances up and looks at Brett and says, "Actually, you're handsomer than my dad."

Ka-pow.