The Waves of Life

It started, or ended perhaps, with a thud. Screaming, I ran down the four stairs to the umbrella stroller, turned upside down on the tile with two fat legs sticking out from the bottom. Big brother had been pushing baby Fin around the house and wanted to take him down stairs, carefully, he said. Only it didn't happen that way. I just prayed that his skull wasn't fractured, and he didn't have bleeding on his brain. But, I reminded myself that this was the child without hemophilia. Whew. There's looking on the bright side.
At five months, our third son has endured more trauma than his older brothers combined. I should have expected as much. But, I did not expect to watch my baby's nose and lip swell to twice their normal size. Within a half hour I took him to the urgent care and he was seen two hours later and diagnosed with a broken nose. It will heal fine on it's own, I was told.
So, I arrive home, exhausted and still sick to my stomach to see my baby in pain and having difficulty breathing. My husband is glad to see us, but still furious at our five year old for pushing the baby down the stairs.
For some reason, I don't harbor the same feelings. When it happened, Jaxon was hysterical with grief. He understood how badly he had hurt his brother and was genuinely sorry for it.
Why, then, is his dad so mad?
Mark says it's because Jaxon was being disobedient during this incident. He was supposed to be eating dinner and had taken the baby for a stroll instead.
To me, letting that happen was the problem, not the disobedience. He's not yet accountable for his own sins. As parents, we're still the ones in charge and therefore responsible for the well-being of all of our children, even when they hurt each other.
Besides the accountability issue, I don't understand the benefit of remaining angry.
No one is better off for Mark's anger at Jaxon.
Not Mark, not Jaxon, not me, and certainly not Finley.

This traumatic event has helped me learn an important lesson, because I'm usually the one who holds grudges, especially against our impulsive 5 year old. Love really is the only way to help us change for the better. Staying angry causes more pain, for everyone.
And a broken nose is painful enough. Really.