It's me, Mark. I've figured how to access the family blog!! Exxxxcccellent! Now, for once, there will be a balanced account of what should be our private family life. Jessica's out with the "girls" tonight. Which, come to think of it, happens more often than not. On Friday she's going on a road trip with a friend of hers. A couple of months ago I took some time off while she flew to Utah to speak at an event and next month, I will be taking off another three days so that she can go to California again. Of course, this is on top of her week long trip to Hawaii she enjoyed last year while I tried to plan a weeks worth of activities for my three boys (in the Arizona summer mind you). Should I be worried? I don't know why I'm expecting a response. I suppose it's more rhetorical. Actually, I do notice who comments on this thing from time to time. Seems like the same people. I could just call you guys and vent.
I suppose its this uneasiness that prompted me to start my P90x program again. For the unintiated, P90x is a hard-core home workout program that, Jaxon says, "when you start you are fat, and after 90 days, you're skinny." So there I was, contemplating my wife's fast-paced lifestyle of rowdy road trips while I stared at myself in the mirror with my shirt off. Yep, fat and out of shape (unless you count "round" as a shape) there's no other way to describe it. I know Mom, you would tell me it's all muscle. Sure, I can move billions of dollars around (not my money, the state's money) but am I useful? What can I do? I don't look good in a tool belt with my shirt off. In fact, I don't know how to fix anything. I have to think that magnifies your unattractiveness in a tool belt by an order of magnitude. A couple of weeks ago I fixed a towel rack that had been broken for like two years. Took me about twenty minutes. I don't want to brag, I was like "Hey towel rack, go make me a sandwhich!" What else? At the least, I eat the leftovers. I'd like to think I add a certain pizazz. More Garfield and less Leno probably. How can I measure THAT? Hmmm, I have a lot of "intangibles". What are those anyway if not completely useless? The reason they are intangible is because there is no material benefit. You're not a contributor. On the other hand, you're not a societal detractor. That's something.
Do I like this position? No idea. Something tells me its good to ask the question. At least it motivated me to action. I completed my first workout tonight, which is part of a twelve-step program to (warning: standard business cliches coming) recalibrate and engage.
Look out Raul the pool boy, if that's even you're REAL name (apologies to anyone reading this whose name is actually Raul)! You're about to face some competition from a round man with a tool belt. Get ready for the future of America in yo' grill. I don't know why I said that last part.
6 comments:
Oh WOW.
That is all I can say.
Why did I ever give him permission to post on our family blog?
Lest you get the wrong impression, I just told Mark on Sunday that I realized we are already (nearly) 10 years into our marriage and the clock is actually ticking down and I'm worried that I won't have enough time with him. Even if we have 50 more years, I don't know that that will be enough.
I love you so much honey. You look great without your shirt off, and round is a shape that you're not.
(TMI, everyone. Sorry)
Also, I do NOT have a rowdy lifestyle (the dance club last weekend being the notable exception, but I LOVE to dance). The feminist trips, eh, those are for my sanity. Anyway, I'm really not as bad as he makes it sound.
(Mark wrote this on only 5 hrs of sleep.)
HA!
I think Jaxon should host an informercial.
I think you are a good husband and that Jess deserves all her vacation so you get as much quality time with the kids as she has each day :)
But honestly Mark, you are really cool! Good luck with the work out program!
Good for you, Mark! Both for letting your wife pursue her interests (and get some needed relief from the house) and for focusing on exercise again. Keep us posted on how it goes!
Unsolicited heath tip: I've lost 16 pounds this year by cutting out processed food and making my own foods. I also quit buying low fat stuff. I'd rather eat the good stuff if I'm making it myself. Are you thinking about following the P90X diet plan this time?
I think Mark should write more often, its nice to know what goes on in his little head!
I was trying to think of something comforting to say, but no dice. These girls really are going "out on the town" a lot aren't they?
But I mean what's the worst that could happen? They're just out there trying new things!! You know, really sucking the marrow out of life. Savoring the feeling of having warm sunshine on their faces.
Visiting every continent and penetrating every clime!
Like I said, what's the worst that could happen?
can I borrow P90X?
@ Jessica, you didn't give me permission. Since you didn't sign out when you left I simply sent myself an invitation. There's no secret, I just let the computer do the work!
@ Brandon, no, I'm not planning to follow to diet. But I am sticking to a few basic rules. No pot (or "pop", but avoiding pot would be good too), no smoking (I have to give myself an easy "win"), no food after 8pm, no second serving, and no sugar (except when it's easily accessible).
@ Hill Family. My brain is not small. Unless by small you mean like technologically advanced. According to my GPA, I'm right 60% of the time.
Thanks all for reading! Remember tip your waitresses. Mark, 1, Rest of the World, 0. BOO-YAH!
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