Despite repeated attempts to find the mice this morning, Jaxon managed to get to school without finding the empty cage.
I worried all day, but many of your comments helped me feel confident in my plans to explain to Jaxon how I killed not one pet, but all nine of his pet mice. (*I keep reminding myself that people intentionally kill mice all the time).
Luckily, the babies were asleep when Jaxon came home from school. I sat him down with a juicebox and told him I had some bad news.
"The mice were outside all day and I found them dead after the party last night. It was too hot for them to live."
Then I told him that they were in heaven as a family and that it was okay for him to be sad. I reminded him of the glove/hand lesson about bodies/spirits.
He was sad, for about a minute. I helped him do some deep breathing.
Then he asked, "Where are their bodies?"
So, I told him the truth. "Their skin and fur starts to break apart, it's called decomposing, and it smells bad, so I threw them in the garbage." He seemed satisfied with that answer. I think a funeral would have been overkill (pun intended).
As Nate suggested, I asked him if he was sad because he worried about their being in pain when they died, or that he missed his pets. He said, "I'm sad they're dead."
Yep, that's how a 6 year old thinks.
A few more tears and deep breaths and I brought up the idea of a new pet.
Suddenly, Jaxon jumps up with a smile and says, "I want a hamster!"
That was the end of mourning for the mice.
It couldn't have gone any better if I'd planned it. I don't know what I was so worried about. He was waaaay more traumatized when the mouse was crushed by the wheel and spasming and convulsing in the cage. This was cake compared to that.
Thanks again to everybody for your helpful suggestions. I'm sorry that so many of you were traumatized by pet deaths. Perhaps this will be a good reference when you go through this in the future with your kids . . .
Last thought. I can't find any photos I took of the mice. How sad. I take photos all the time. I can't believe I didn't take photos of them.
11 comments:
Well, I'm so sorry for all the trauma these couple of days. I only heard about your loss this afternoon (Meghan gave me the update). But, at least all went well when you let Jaxon know. My advice: avoid hamseters. Basically like mice but just as fragile. They live like 1 or 2 years max. And with three small boys running around, I'd bet their mortality rate skyrockets. Good luck!
Oh, avoid hamsters, too.
Our experience is male hamsters are better than females. Go to the pet store and handle them. If he bites, put him back.
Here, the pet stores either sell females or males, not both. Maybe yours is the same. Good luck!
Might I suggest guinea pigs? They are not as fragile as hamsters, they live longer plus, they are much cuter. We had some guinea pigs growing up and they were the sweetest pets; very gentle and sociable and they're great with children.
I'm so sorry for all the trauma but it sounds like both you and Jaxon handled it wonderfully. I don't think you could have handled this difficult situation better.
Also, here's some info about guinea pigs:
http://exoticpets.about.com/cs/guineapigs/a/Gpsaspets.htm
Good for you! I think the way you handled it was good advice for us all.
I advise against rodents of any ilk.
Thanks for all of your support.
I googled "Best pets for small children" and got this link
http://www.parenthood.com/article-topics/article-topics.php?Article_ID=9554
It supports Meghan's assertion that guinea pigs are a good bet. They won the contest by a landslide (and turtles lost by nearly as much).
They did recommend rats, though.
Yuck!
This place recommends rats over hamsters, gerbils, and mice (which are the smelliest, can you believe it?)
http://www.essortment.com/all/smallpets_razo.htm
I can't commit to a cat or dog right now, or I would probably do that.
And all this time I was worried about what the children would do to the mice. Next time I'll know to watch my wife more closely. Tell me, how many HUMANS can handle 95+ degree heat all day without food or water? No, I mean any that aren't superheroes.
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