December Laughs

Christmas photos to come, here are our kids' funny quotes this month. Check out November's here.

Here's the photo quote from last week:

Do you mean meditating?

12-1-09 For some unknown reason, Jaxon is trying to procure $100. He says he wants to go to Hollywood.
Me: "How are you going to get $100?"
Jaxon: "I don't know . . . maybe if I win something."
Me: "Like what?"
Jaxon: "A singing contest or something."

Upon further discussion, I also discover that Jaxon intends to buy a Junie B Jones book and pay tithing with his $100.

12-3-09 Jaxon is getting frustrated at our conversation. I've asked him to do too many things and he says, "Take it easy on your son, Mom. You're driving me crazy." (then with big gestures) " I can wreck this whole house up. I can take off the roof!"

12-5-09 Speaking about his pet fish Herman, Jaxon laments, "I just wish he could sleep in my bed! If he was my wife he could."

12-7-09 This is when our new kitty arrives. Perhaps God was worried that the fish would end up in Jaxon's bed.

12-9-09 Upon discovering our egg slicer in the kitchen drawer, Jaxon excitedly asks, "Mom, can we make egg sandwiches today?!?" After a split-second pause wherein he realizes he may be asked to eat the egg sandwiches, he says in a very quiet and fast voice, "None for me, thanks."
That's how Jaxon has a conversation with himself.

12-9-09 I talked to Jaxon's teacher today and she tells me about a band concert that the entire school attended. The first graders were in the front and after the band teacher introduces each section, "Woodwinds, brass, percussion, etc" Jaxon asks her loud enough for the whole school to hear, "What about the French Horn?" The entire school busts up laughing.

12-14-09 After his goodnight hug, Asher complains, "Your fur is tickling me."

12-17-09 Jaxon earned a RED at school today which means he broke the rules many times. We talked about it long and hard and at one point Jaxon says, "I got a red because of white flour!" He quotes from Professor Fizzy who explains that white flour doesn't have any vitamins or other good stuff, that your body uses it up too quickly, it makes you crazy, and then "Bam!" you're hungry again. White flour was the topic of many of this month's funny situations.

12-18-09 Jaxon decides today is Milo's (our new cat) birthday. After singing him a wonderful birthday song I say, "Jaxon you are such a sweet boy." He responds, "I know. I'm really kind to animals. I hope Milo doesn't die."

Me, too Sweetie. I have a bad track record.

12-20-09 Asher pretends to cut my hair, "Just belax, just belax."

After baths, Jaxon tells Mark and I that Asher has a red spot on his bum. He starts to guess its origins, "Maybe it's a mosquito bite or a vampire bite."

The funniest story this month was from December 3rd, the night of Asher's preschool program.
On our way to the show, Jaxon was telling me about his friend Austin's mom who volunteers in his classroom. He says casually, "Actually mom, she's kind of prettier than you. Her hair is blonde."

Then Jaxon tells Mark, "But you're the handsomest daddy of all the kids at my school. Actually, you're the handsomest daddy in the whole world."

To prove his point Jaxon keeps pointing to men who are not as good looking as Mark, indicating that indeed, Daddy is the most handsome man ever.

When we arrive at the church for Asher's program, one of our friends, Brett, is there with his kids and he holds the door open for Jaxon. At this point, Jaxon glances up and looks at Brett and says, "Actually, you're handsomer than my dad."

Ka-pow.

Christmas Letter 2009

This year was a (thankfully) quiet one for our family. We spent the year enjoying time together with family and friends. Here's a little update.

Finn, who is the spitting image of Jaxon at his age, turned two in October. He loves his brothers and imitates them all day. Every morning while still in his pajamas, Finn puts his shoes on, walks Jaxon out to the bus stop, waves as the bus leaves and walks back in the house. But Finn is still our baby and will spend hours rocking in the lap of Mama or Daddy (names he uses interchangeably to describe both parents).

Biggest accomplishment this year: Moving into a big boy bed, the middle bunk of the triple bunks.

Though he's not quite four, Asher looks like a five year old. He's shy around everyone except our little family where he acts more like a lion cub, wrestling with and chasing his brothers. Taking after Jaxon, Asher has inherited his brother's love of trains. We are getting more than our money's worth out of the train table we bought a few years ago. In preschool, Asher is proud of the crafts he brings home and so is Jaxon. As for his lifestlye, Asher is on his way to becoming a Naturist. He spends every moment he's at home in his underwear, even when it's 64 degrees in our house.

Biggest accomplishment this year: Potty training (Our potty training stories will scare your pants off).

Seven year old Jaxon is growing into a responsible big brother. He adores his brothers and talks about "taking care of my boys." Jaxon has a big heart and loves all creatures. This year he had two pet fish and 9 pet mice (which I accidentally killed). December 7th we had a beautiful kitty adopt us. Named Milo, courtesy of Jaxon, he just moved in and the kids are thrilled. As he improves in first grade, Jaxon impresses his teacher by casually using big words most kids don't know. He's great at making friends and has an incredible memory for quoting things he's heard. At the dinner table tonight Jaxon says, "Use what you have to make what you need." Such sage advice from a 7 year old. Recently, Jaxon started karate where he learns discipline.

Biggest accomplishment this year: Learning to read and doing jump kicks in karate.

As for me, I stay busy with my blogs, my friends, and my family. While I love to create things by decorating or photographing, I hate to clean so keeping a tidy house is always a chore (pun intended). I'm still on the board of the AZ Hemophilia Association and love promoting our mission to enhance the quality of life for the bleeding disorder community. At church I was just released from teaching the 14 year old Sunday School class and called as the nursery leader, which I am excited about. The reality of growing older set in this year when I discovered a few gray hairs, and a newlywed couple moved into our ward and I recognized the husband because I used to BABYSIT HIM! I participate in two book groups, am training for a half-marathon in January (donate here!), and have become addicted to yoga.

Biggest accomplishment this year: Hanging Christmas lights on our house for the first time in our marriage (We've never had lights, so this was a first for our house and a first for me).

Mark spends his days working as the Private Equity specialist for the AZ state pension fund. He loves what he does, although he does not love the occasional travel. I love his job too, because he has lots of vacation and no overtime. When Mark gets home he's the primary parent and the kids just adore him. Mark loves to play tennis on the Wii. And though he teases me about blogging, Mark started another blog this year which celebrates his favorite hobby: Cougar football (need I say more?).

Biggest accomplishment this year: Enjoying a trip to Michigan to visit his family (It helps that no one was sick and all the kids sleep through the night).


We wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Love,
Jessica Steed and her boys: Mark, Jaxon, Asher, and Finn.

Our Blogs:
Marks: Adverse Selection
Mormon Women's Blog: The Exponent

PS, You can probably tell that Asher is very affectionate in our family, since he's hugging everyone in all the photos.

The Making Of . . .

This is the cover.
What do you think?

So You Think You Can Jump?

Check out Spidey here.

The Kitty Who Adopted Us

Yesterday as we waved goodbye to Jaxon on the bus, a little kitty walked by and let us pet him.

Then as we walked back to the house, the kitty scampered in ahead of us and decided to call our house his home.

He loves me and follows me around. He tolerates Finn, with the occasional bite for warning. He likes the other kids and Mark just fine, but he loves sleeping under our Christmas tree and wandering around our house.

I'm not sure how long he'll stay, or if we'll find his owners, or if he was just a stray.

Since some people in the house are allergic to cats (Mark, but he grew up with them), this is a little experiment to see how everyone's allergies react to this creature.

Right now I'm telling the kids that the kitty is vacationing with us. And with my record with pets, that's probably a good thing to tell them.

Curtis Photo Shoot

On Saturday I did a photo shoot with the Curtis family at Mesa Arts Center. It went pretty well. I'm getting better because this time I didn't have trouble with the photos being too dark. When I got home and looked at them on the computer, I realized some of them weren't completely in focus. It was so irritating. I'm going to have to take a class. Or maybe I just need to keep practicing. Anyone want to be my guinea pig?

November Laughs

November just FLEW by, so I don't have a lot of document hilarities, although I know there were more than I wrote down.

Post Halloween amusement:
"Canny!" was the first, middle, and last word out of Finn's mouth all month long. We still have two pieces of Halloween candy and my kids know it. Every time it was too quiet, I knew they had found a way to get into the candy and were shoving in their faces (wrappers and all) before I found them.

11/12 As we drive by a cemetery in Michigan, Jaxon comments , "Cemeteries are where they plant dead people."

11/15 When his 4 year old cousin was throwing a fit about the music in the car Jaxon chastises her, "Taiva, the earth is for everybody, not just you."

11/18 After we got settled on our flight home from Michigan Jaxon recites a poem to me,
"We saw great sights, we made great friends. Now we're heading home to our journey's end."
Then he says, "Say it with me, Mom."

Throughout the month Asher continues to shed his clothes whenever we're home. When we come back from the gym, store, church, etc. I turn around and he's standing in his underwear. I help him get dressed ALL. DAY. LONG.

Asher has also begun a little ritual of creating a nest on my bed. He piles and fluffs our down comforter into a little circle and sits in the middle. When I ask him what he's doing he smiles and says, "This my nest!" Then he asks me to snuggle with him.

In the last few days Asher (nearly 4) has taken on the task of disciplining two year old Finn (I'm just glad somebody is). So when Finn hits him, Asher says, "Time Out!" and tries to pick him up and haul him over to the chair. Today the chair was misplaced, so when Asher tried this he looked very confused then gave up and said, "No chair."

Finn is mostly funny because he confuses Mommy and Daddy all day long. He doesn't seem to really care which one he uses, and since he's two I assume he really does understand who's who. Right now, as I type, Finn is hollering, "Daddy" when he knows I'm the only parent home. Sheesh.

Speaking of who's who, Jaxon decided recently that Dad is the boss because Dad is taller and bigger than Mommy. Said Jaxon, "When you stand next to Daddy, you can rest your head on his shoulder. That means he's in charge."
Only after some negotiations was I able to convince Mark to encourage Jaxon to see Mom and Dad as a team.

11-19 I'm trying to determine which shoes fit Jaxon so I can get him out the door to school. He is apparently impatient with me and apparently distracted by his cousin as he shouts, "It doesn't matter [how the shoes fit]. All I care about is Ella because she's so beautiful!"

11-22 Jaxon tells Mark, "You know why I have trouble saying words? Because my head is shaped like a cone!" (He is half right. He had a cone-shaped head as a baby and remembers that story well).

11-29 The whole family is snuggling/wrestling in our bed and I rest my head on Jaxon's knobby little shoulder.
Me: "Jaxon, your shoulder feels like a pool ball."
Jaxon: (huge smile) "Wow! Thanks, Mom!"

(added) 11-30 We're setting up the Christmas tree and Asher keeps using everything as a pretend phone. In his baby voice he's talking fast and repeating the same phrases. After a few times we can just make out this dialogue: "Hello? I just walked in the door. Look out your window." and some other garbled things. It sounds like a movie quote so I ask Jaxon if he can figure out what Asher is saying. Jaxon looks at me bored and says, "It's from Curious George, Mom." Whoa. Jaxon, are you the library of movie quotes, or what?

12-1 Jaxon comes home complaining that he got hurt when a kid kicked him at school.

"Mom, I've got a huge owie on my BLADE."

What?
Yep, his shoulder blade.

The funniest scene in November is our family traveling to Michigan for 11 days with only CARRY ON LUGGAGE (we were too cheap to pay $35 a bag when the flight was only $39 each way!)


We packed 5 carry-on suitcases and had 4 other bags/backpacks/purses. We also had a car seat, stroller, and three small children. I wish someone had videotaped it because we would be a hit on YouTube.

As we were deplaning in Mesa, I had a problem of having suitcases ahead of where I needed to be (to get more suitcases) and people right behind me. So, I sent Jaxon ahead.

He was carrying his backpack with my purse stuffed inside. He was pulling not one, but two full size carry-on suitcases strapped together. They kept bumping into the seats so he went very slow, and he had to go down a really steep external ramp (the kind that lands you on the tarmac). Through what must have been divine intervention, Jaxon does this all by himself until the very last few feet when a man helps him pull the suitcases.

And that is why I'm glad that as children grow up they become more useful!

Vote for your Fave

Vote on the sidebar for your favorite pic of my kids. I'm trying to choose which one to put on my wall.
(In photo A, Jaxon's left eye is crooked. If that is the favorite, I will find someone to photoshop it.)
A: One Stooge

B: Huddle

C: Future of America

D: Monkeys in a Tree

Halloween 2009

This year for Halloween, Jaxon wanted to be a mummy. But, for his school character parade, he was supposed to be something literary, not scary. So, I helped him dress as a pirate (in 5 min flat, it was awesome!). Here are a few shots of him during his class party playing roll the pumpkin relay, and finding spiders in slimy goo. (The ironic part of me not letting Jaxon go to school as a mummy was that there were many, many graphic, violent, and scary costumes in the parade. A kid in his first grade class dressed as the Halloween murderer Mike Myers).

When Halloween night came, I wrapped Jaxon as a mummy, using a stretchy holey fabric that I got to go around Asher's cast a long time ago. I put that stuff on his limbs and face then covered everything with strips of white fabric. It was tricky, considering I only had 2 saftey pins and it kept falling down all night. If I did it again, I would definitely do some research first. He looked really good though, even our friends didn't recognize him.

Asher wouldn't dress up for his preschool Halloween party, although we had many costumes to choose from (even a train engineer!). He's just a nervous little guy and seems afraid of costumes. So, it was no surprise that Halloween night came and he wouldn't wear a costume. Last year I had to give him a camera and a flowered lei and let him be a tourist. This year I wasn't so clever.

Thus, when Finn saw he could get out of wearing a costume, he opted out too. So, you'll see that only one of our children dressed up for Halloween. I'm not sure when that will change.

The funniest part of the evening was when this 9 ft skeleton walked by and Asher freaks out (check him out in the left corner of the photo. He was terrified, poor thing.

This is him after walking by the tall skeleton. He's sad but look at all that candy! The kids are still begging for it everyday (curses under breath).

Here are my kids and their cousin, Ella who was dressed as a caterpillar.

Asher and Jaxon at the ward Trunk or Treat party.

Mark wore this mask along with his regular clothes.

I was a gypsy, but since I was the photographer, there are no photos of my costume.

Last but not least, as I was chatting with friends at the ward party I was totally unaware that my 2 year old had wandered off to the other end of the parking lot to get his groove on. I got a clip of him dancing to the Monster Mash. In the clip, there's a little hand that crawls around on the ground that Finn starts to kick. I don't blame him, it creeps me out, too.

Sleepers

My children love to sleep.
If I haven't put them to bed properly, they will fall asleep on the floor sometimes.

First is a photo of Asher asleep in the hall right next to the kitchen at Nate and Sandrines house (in MI, where we were just visiting). Next is Finn asleep on my bedroom floor at 9:30 AM, while I took a shower.

(I love how they're both wearing their shoes, silly kids).

I just found this third photo in my file of phone pics. It was taken in November of 07. It looks like Jaxon fell asleep on the kitchen floor, which means he wasn't the only one that was losing sleep when Finn was a newborn.

October Laughs

The next in the series of funny things my kids said over the month of October. Not too many entries this month because we were in Disneyland, then Mark and I exchanged being out of town for a while.
You can find the previous entries here and here.

6th: While gesturing wildly with his hands Jaxon proclaims, "Did you know the more I learn, the more my brain grows? Right now it's as big as a house!"

That same night Jaxon grows despondent and laments, "There's never a superhero in Arizona." (sigh)

7th: Speaking about salt water taffy Jaxon explains, "That's another word for nuts. It's another word in French."

9th: I went to help in Jaxon's class and like last year, he was delighted that I came. The teacher introduced me as Mrs. Steed and Jaxon loudly finishes her sentence, "But you can call her Jessica." Then Jaxon and I walk to the library hand in hand and he says, "Bend down so I can kiss you." So I did and got a wet one right on the cheek.

Also that day, Finn broke a ceramic pumpkin made by Jaxon's little neighbor friend. Jaxon was heartbroken. To help him feel better, we suggested he write an apology note explaining what happened, I began to dictate the note. Jaxon interupts me, "Boring!" It was so not boring. That little greivance.

Throughout the month Asher repeatedly puts his thumb on my chin, pushes down then stares in my mouth. "Looks very strong," he says then shuts my mouth. He does this over and over again. (If this is from movie, please tell me. I have no idea where he got this from)

21st: Asher requests oatmeal at 2 PM. I say no because it's not mealtime. He protests by taking the lid off the container of oats and putting it down his pants.

22nd: I ask Jaxon to eat some salad. After one bite he yells, "The lettuce is horrible! I can't feel my tongue!"

26th: At dinner Jaxon says, "Boy, Asher was really hungry, he ate 3 loaves of corn. I hope he doesn't eat 5 or 6 because that would make him sick."

30th: Asher comes out of his room at bedtime and uses a new stalling tactic. He throws his arms in the air and proclaims, "I'm going to fly to Mexico!" The beginning is a bit garbled, but he was definitely talking about flying to Mexico.

Finn's Day

Today is Finn's birthday and we did a little food craft for lunch, inspired by Jaxon's book in the photo. It's called Buggy Apples, and it's just apples with raisins (attached with peanut butter) and a grape for a head. The kids loved it.

I also got them to all smile at the same time (miracle!) by copying Jaxon. He puts his finger next to his head and says, "Dwoing!" The kids giggle hysterically.

This new secret is great news because we have a family photo session coming up.

Morning Trauma

When we bought our Dodge Grand Caravan nearly 4 years ago it came equipped with automatic sliding side doors. I knew someday those doors would close on little hands, but I didn't imagine I'd have to wait so long for that to happen. (Not that the doors haven't caused severe trauma already, like when Asher split his forehead open on one).

Today while I was trying to convince Asher to attend preschool Finn shut his finger in the van door. I was in the office and could hear Ella fussing, but couldn't hear Finn until I was in the living room.

I have no idea how long he was standing there, with his finger pinched, but it was so sad. We both cried. His little pinkie was red and purple, and bleeding a little bit.

Then we couldn't find his bear.
Then Asher wouldn't go to preschool.
Then Ella had a HUGE blowout in her diaper and required a bath. (These were size 1 diapers and with her pudgy bottom I found that size 3 diapers fit her perfectly).

We're all settled down, but what a morning.

Cost Saving Measures Gone Too Far

Today I drove 20 min to the Mesa Gateway Airport (aka the Williamsfield airport) to a terminal that's half the size of an elementary school with half a dozen cars outside and four people inside, including the one guy behind the ticket counter.

I did this in an effort to save money because buying tickets online or by phone incurs a $14 fee. The ticket buying went fine, although I had to pay $40 extra for 4 of the tickets because there was only one left at the $39 rate. This still was much cheaper than buying the tickets through a regular carrier, instead of Allegiant Air a regional carrier.

It looks as though the nice man at the ticket counter forgot to give me back my credit card, and I've tried to find out if I left it there without having to go back (I was babysitting my niece today).

But, apparently Allegiant Air is so good at cost cutting, that they don't actually have a phone at the ticket counter.
Below is the unedited response to the email I sent to the company requesting information about my lost card.

Hello,

Thank you for contacting us at Allegiant Air. Unfortunately we do not have a phone number for the ticket counter. I would recommend going back to the counter.

Thank you,

Jennifer M.

Is this not a sign that cost cutting has gone too far?

Must I really go down to the airport, wait in line for another 20 min and ask if they have my card?

And if they do, shouldn't they have called me?

The Pet Curse

You may remember that not quite two months ago we got a new pet, Figaro, the fish. (Because I killed the pet mice, right?)

In case you'd forgotten, here are some photos, snapped the day we bought that cute little Betta fish.

That I killed.

Yes, I did it again, folks. I broke my little 7 year old's heart.

But I refuse to take all of the blame. Mark planned this surprise vacation and did not plan a place for Figaro. So, he asked me what to do with her, and I said she'd be fine for 4 days. I mean, I have a friend who tried for a MONTH to kill her Betta fish. Another friend didn't feed hers for a month and it finally died. So 4 days doesn't seem like such a big deal, right?

I was wrong.

When we came home, she was NOT swimming in her bowl. The water was murky and smelly.

Jaxon started crying and (this is the worst part) told me that maybe Figaro was like an iguana, it could change it's color to match it's background, so he was still there swimming around, but he just blended in with the shells and plants.

That's when I started crying. Then I told Jaxon we were going right now to buy a new fish. He perked up at that news.

Why am I the worst pet person in the world?

Or, perhaps the better question is why do I have a child that LOVES pets where I barely tolerate them? (This is where I tell you that Jaxon would sing lullabies to Figaro and kiss his bowl goodnight).

When Mark cleaned out the bowl and found half of Figaro in one of the shells at the bottom.

The new fish's name is Herman.

We'll see if he can last more than 2 months.


If not, maybe we need something a little more robust, like a cat or dog.

Disneyland Trip

We had a bunch of fun at Disneyland and California Adventure.

Here's a link to our Facebook photo album (only 29 photos this time, and with captions!).
If that doesn't work, check out my profile.

We had a good time and stayed in a wonderful house (I'm not sure I can sleep in my own bed again).
Mark is the best for planning this for us. We love you!