Announcing Baby Ella

My sister Tacy was due on June 2nd, so imagine my surprise when she didn't go into labor until Friday night.

I got a call at 2:30 AM that she had checked into the hospital and I was told to bring my camera.

On my way to the hospital I heard the song, "It just some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride, everything will be alright, everything will be just fine." I started to tear up, imagining the next few hours of childbirth awaiting Tacy, as well as her future with Ella.

Cami and I arrived at the hospital at 3 AM, after my parents and two of Tacy's friends, Esther and Michelle.

All six of us helped support Tacy through the wee hours of the morning, laboring without drugs through intense contractions.

At 7 AM, Tacy's midwife, Janice came and told Tacy she was dilated to 9 cm and then she broke Tacy's water. She promised 30 min to delivery. But it wasn't that easy.

At 7:30 Tacy started pushing in earnest, and although she tried many different positions, the baby's head wouldn't pass behind the pubic bone. She was pretty well stuck.

Thus, the pushing went on and on with Tacy yelling, "Get her out!" and "I can't do this anymore." She was in some kind of intense pain I'll never understand since I've had epidurals with all three of my babies.

I do remember the exhaustion. And boy was Tacy exhausted.

Finally, on Saturday June 13th at 9:34 AM Ella Jane came into the world. They put her right on Tacy's chest and we were all in tears because we were overcome with the miracle of this little girl.

Even right now, as I'm writing this, Jaxon's looking at the photo saying, "Boy mom, Tacy sure looks happy."

Yes, honey. She does.



Here are more photos at my webalbum.

Rough and Tumble Boys

So, if you can't tell by the new masthead and side photos of the boys:

THEY ALL HAVE MOHAWKS.

It was my sisters' and mother's idea.

But, I think they look pretty cute.
Here are some more photos from our shoot.

Scenes from a Marriage: Yesterday

Actual phone call yesterday:

Me: Honey, I've got some good news and some bad news.

Mark: Bad news first.

Me: A photo radar speeding ticket from Tempe came in the mail today.

Mark (interrupting): It was me, on my way back from the Salsa Challenge Wrap Up party. It was after we switched cars, I was driving your van.

Me (stupefied): Um, no. That was the good news, it was me in the van on my way to the same party. There's a photo.

(Then I flip through the mail more carefully and discover Mark's photo on ANOTHER SPEEDING TICKET FROM THE SAME DAY, ON THE SAME ROAD, IN THE SAME CAR.)

Me and Mark in unison: Oh, dear.

Mohawk and Swim Meet

On Friday, I gave Jaxon a MOHAWK.

He likes it because he thinks it looks like a dinosaur's spine.

And now he cares a lot about his hair.

"Mom! Finn just messed up my mohawk!"


"Mom, I want to make my hair into a mohawk!"

The plan is to keep this style for a few days or weeks, then shave it all off into a buzz.

I tried to do surfer hair with Jaxon, but it always looked ratty, and instead of looking like a surfer dude, he mostly looked like a homeless child.
























Yesterday Jaxon had his first swim meet. He did the back stroke pretty well, only he kept turning around to see if he was done. He placed 5th of 6.

Then he did the butterfly and raced against his friend, Ethan. Jaxon kept looking up and giving Ethan a thumbs up through the race. And then because he doesn't exactly know how to do the butterfly (he just mostly swam under water), he won first place, coming in a fraction of a second behind Ethan (who has great form in the butterfly).















But, it was FREESTYLE race that made the event EXCITING. (see video below, esp last 20 seconds)

It's hard to see from the video, but Jaxon starts off the race with goggle problems. Then, he starts to realize that he's behind and decides to give up because he's not winning. He goes totally non-responsive, eyes closed, floating in the water.
The crowd is yelling and getting nervous and then some random man DIVES in to SAVE my tantrum-throwing child.
When they climb out, the crowd CHEERS, and I can't figure out why.

It was crazy. I even forgot I was still filming and thought, "Oh, I probably ought to turn off the camera."
As I walked over to get Jaxon someone asked me what happened and I said, "That's just his personality."

I took Jaxon aside to talk to him and he yells at me,

"I QUIT!"

Whoever said that boys aren't as much drama as girls has never met my children.

Now You See It . . .

When I first discovered the macro setting on my camera, I set to work photographing my wedding ring.

I love my ring. I've never seen one quite like it, Mark choose it for me and gave it to me for our engagement.


The first photo is from last July, the second is from April when I was trying to figure out of the macro setting was working on the camera.

The last photo is from yesterday.

Our morning was crazy, swimming at Val Vista Lakes Clubhouse while Jaxon did swim team. Then we changed in the locker room and headed to the gym. After the gym, I showered and got ready then piled the kids in the car and headed to Finley's 18 month
checkup.

We drove by a jeweler and I instinctively glanced down at my ring and the center diamond was missing. I got that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Where did I lose it? At the gym? The pool? At home, in the car? Yesterday?

I had no idea.

So, I called Mark and he was disappointed, too. I called the gym and told them to look for it, but it's sort of like looking for a needle in a haystack.


I don't expect to find it, but I'm really, really sad it's gone.

As I looked more closely at the prongs, only 2 of them were in great shape. I'm pretty amazed it held on this long.

I wish I had taken it in for maintenance more often, but I always thought of that as frivolous, so it would look shinier.

Now I know better.
Mark says for our tenth anniversary next year, maybe I can get a new ring.

Sounds good to me.

Until then, don't be surprised to see a "replacement" bling on my finger.
Or, a tattoo. No, wait, that's Mark's idea.

Embarassing Peronal Confession #6

I have GRAY HAIR.

No, I am not joking with you. It's not just one or two. In fact, near my temples I have a little sprinkling of white hairs that my friend Amy NOTICED yesterday.

It's possible that I've had these for a while, but since I've gone back to a darker hair color they're finally noticeable.

Still, I am only 29 years old.

I'm not ready for gray hairs.

Our Little Grievance

On any given day, you could walk into our house and hear either Mark or me holler, "Grievance!"

That is the name we give to our children when they are particularly aggravating. Usually it's in a joking way, not an "I'm going to tear your head off" way.

Lately, though, Finn has been our Little Grievance.

Here is a list of some of my grievances against him.

-He hits constantly. Anything, any person, any animal. He just HITS.
-He throws constantly and he has remarkable accuracy. He throws so hard that when I seem him pull his arm back, I cover my head instinctively.
-He got WRITTEN UP at the gym's childcare for hitting and throwing toys at children.
-He refuses to say (or sign) please, he just screams and yells, "MINE!"
-When I ask for a kiss, he lowers his forehead to my lips, so I can kiss HIM (actually, that's pretty cute).
- When he's mad at me, he'll hit, throw, and SPIT.

Lest you think I kid, behold the attached movie taken today.

I decided to have a music lesson with pots and pans today. The kids had a great time, but by the time I pulled out the camera, Finn was done. So, he made his feelings known by throwing the musical tool (aka, the wire whisk) not once, but twice, spitting (it's very quick, at second 13), and hitting me. Of course, it was nearly naptime, so he was a little cranky.

Note, I did actually laugh a little, because he's such a predictable little grievance. But, in fact, this is a bad habit to start when you're only 18 MONTHS OLD!

Have you seen this kind of aggressive behavior before in a baby this age? Am I just forgetting how kids are at this age? Is this because he's got two older brothers?

I'm just a little worried about this one. He has such a temper and he's so aggressive.

T-Ball Star

Our little Jaxon just finished his second season of T-ball (that's two T-ball and two soccer, for those of you keeping track). He starts swim team next week and we're thinking about karate next.

Here's a photo of Jaxon and his T-ball buddies. The two on the left (Jeffrey and Ethan) will be on swim team with Jaxon.

During the season, Jaxon kept refering to the outfield as "outbase." He also was very sweet when one of his teamates got hit in the head with the ball. Jaxon went out there and helped the girl walk off the field.

But, Jaxon was best known on the team for his bat throwing antics. He would swing the bat really hard, then let it go sailing. Sometimes he would say, "Oops, I forgot" while it was still in the air.

By the last game, he had broken his bad habit, so we hope it doesn't resurface next season.
Here's a 10 second video of his batting.

To the Class of 2009

I've been baking cookies all night to give as gifts to the five graduating seniors in our ward.

This is the first year that ALL of them sent us graduation announcements.

So, I made cards for them from the selection I had on hand.

The first set were "In Deepest Sympathy," and I wrote how I hoped the cookies would help them in their difficult transition to adulthood. (not that funny)

The second set are cutesie with a flower and the word "Believe" smattered about.

I imparted to the seniors of my infinite wisdom:

"Believe in the Power of your Dreams."

(or at least believe in the ability and willingness of your parents to rescue you from any potential mistakes you'll make in the coming years)

Remember, there's NO shame in moving back home . . . or never leaving.

-- Seriously, though --

Congratulations on Graduating!

Love, The Steeds


I'm pretty sure that's the best card they'll get for graduation (except the ones that have money in them).

What do you think?

He said WHAT?

I just read my friend Allison's blog where her son made a comment about intercourse with some friends over ice cream (he was referring to Intercourse, PA).

It reminded me that I didn't post Jaxon's amusing (and slightly, no very irreverant) comment at church yesterday.

First, let me preface this that I have done a good job of reminding my children about what the bread and the water of the sacrament represents.

So, during the sacrament, Jaxon picks up a piece of bread from the tray, puts it in his mouth with a little gusto, then loudly proclaims (as though he were eating strawberry shortcake), "Mmmm, Jesus's BODY!"

Mark and I weren't sure if we should laugh, cry, or crawl under the bench. I think I did all three.

Katie's Visit

Aren't they cute? I met Katie, Mark's sister, when Mark and I began dating. Right off the bat, I was struck by how similar they look. In fact, if you'll remember this post about Mark and his brothers, they don't look as much like him as she does.
Thus, my hope is that if we have any daughters, they'll look like Katie.

Isn't she beautiful?

So, here are some of the photos we took when Katie came to visit with her kids, Adlen (which is Nelda spelled backwards in honor of their maternal grandmother), and Tysen (ages 3 and 5 months). Katie's husband Justin is a good guy. He decided to spend the weekend refinishing their kitchen cabinets instead of coming down to see us. We won't count that against him though.

It was wonderful to Katie and her kids visit. They live in Las Vegas, so we see them a lot more than we see the Michiganders, but not as much as we get to see my family.

But, with this heat, moving to Michigan is sounding more and more appealing. . .

Scenes from a Marriage

I borrowed this title from Emily's blog. I love it. This scene is for mature audiences.

I accompanied Mark to Las Vegas for a short business trip on Wednesday and Thursday. We stayed in the luxurious Wynn and had a great time.
Here's our conversation when we were preparing for the trip.

Me: "So, what should I wear when we go out Wednesday night? (gesturing) This sexy dress or that one?"

Mark: "Um, I hadn't really planned on going out. I thought we might order room service and stay in."

Me: (slightly irritated) "So, you're taking me all the way to Vegas and not letting me out of the room? If that's what you want, why don't you just hire a prostitute?"

Mark: (slyly) "Because my work won't reimburse me."



(I thought this was so funny I would blog about it so I Mark's permission for this post. Also, the dress in the photo above was not one of my options, that was one my sister was going to wear to prom, so I tried it on for fun.)

Embarassing Personal Confession #5

Today I learned that the place where you check the oil in your car is NOT, I repeat NOT, the same place you put the oil in.
There is another spot for filling the engine with oil. It's wider, so you don't have to spill it, or try to fashion a funnel out of say, a bottle's nipple.

Not that I did that, or anything. But if you were thinking about trying it, don't. Because it won't fit.
And if you did try it, and it didn't fit, throw the nipple away. Don't put it on a bottle for your baby. That would be really gross.

Fruit: Wash Before Eating

A variety of poop issues yesterday led me to do a stinky load of laundry first thing this morning.
When the washer stopped, the load still smelled a little ripe, so I added more detergent and bleach and ran it again.

Then I moved the laundry into the dryer and discovered . . .

A banana peel.

Which I washed in the laundry not once, but twice.

Today's Lunch

Admittedly it's been a while since I've been to the grocery store. Part of the reason is that I've been too busy and the other part was that I spent our budget on groceries about halfway through the month and I'm stalling to get to May. _sigh_

So, today for lunch I had a piece of toast, half a leftover avocado smeared on top, with a breakfast sausage on top of that.
Delicious. Ok, really it wasn't as bad as it sounds.

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention that I had a naked 18 month old baby (naked b/c he has a really bad diaper rash) standing on my lap through the entire thing.

Doesn't make that even more appetizing?

Yes, My Boys Are Wearing Pink.

Since I don't have any daughters to dress up for Easter, I decided to dress up my boys.

In matching pink shirts.

It's not a crime, at least not one punishable by law.

I couldn't get a good shot of them on Easter Sunday, so I took this at my sister Cami's open house on Sunday. (I spent all week working on getting a black dry erase marker stain out of Asher's shirt. I was successful)

Anyway, the pink looks good on my boys, especially the blonde ones. I hope pink stays in for boys for a long time.

The photos below are what happens when I ask Jaxon and Asher to hug Finn. As you can see, some hugs are more successful than others.

Breaking the News

Despite repeated attempts to find the mice this morning, Jaxon managed to get to school without finding the empty cage.

I worried all day, but many of your comments helped me feel confident in my plans to explain to Jaxon how I killed not one pet, but all nine of his pet mice. (*I keep reminding myself that people intentionally kill mice all the time).

Luckily, the babies were asleep when Jaxon came home from school. I sat him down with a juicebox and told him I had some bad news.

"The mice were outside all day and I found them dead after the party last night. It was too hot for them to live."

Then I told him that they were in heaven as a family and that it was okay for him to be sad. I reminded him of the glove/hand lesson about bodies/spirits.

He was sad, for about a minute. I helped him do some deep breathing.

Then he asked, "Where are their bodies?"

So, I told him the truth. "Their skin and fur starts to break apart, it's called decomposing, and it smells bad, so I threw them in the garbage." He seemed satisfied with that answer. I think a funeral would have been overkill (pun intended).

As Nate suggested, I asked him if he was sad because he worried about their being in pain when they died, or that he missed his pets. He said, "I'm sad they're dead."
Yep, that's how a 6 year old thinks.

A few more tears and deep breaths and I brought up the idea of a new pet.

Suddenly, Jaxon jumps up with a smile and says, "I want a hamster!"

That was the end of mourning for the mice.

It couldn't have gone any better if I'd planned it. I don't know what I was so worried about. He was waaaay more traumatized when the mouse was crushed by the wheel and spasming and convulsing in the cage. This was cake compared to that.

Thanks again to everybody for your helpful suggestions. I'm sorry that so many of you were traumatized by pet deaths. Perhaps this will be a good reference when you go through this in the future with your kids . . .


Last thought. I can't find any photos I took of the mice. How sad. I take photos all the time. I can't believe I didn't take photos of them.

Mouse Update: Please Respond

First the good news.

Our White Mouse (Sammy, the one revived by the vet) had 9 baby mice exactly 8 days ago.

Mark and the children have been very excited about it. The mother would occasionally take her day-0ld babies out of the nest and leave them around the cage (remember, she had brain damage). Mark would warm up a spoon and scoop them back into the nest.

Both parents have been kindly taking care of the mice babies and Jaxon is counting down the days until he can hold them. He shows them to everyone who comes over and talks about them constantly.

So, all our research suggests we not clean the cage for a few weeks or the mice parents could EAT their babies.
Thus, the smelly cage has not been cleaned for 2 weeks (nearly a week before she had the babies).

And, this morning I couldn't handle the smell in the boys' room, so I put the cage out on the back porch.
Mark had just hopped on a plane to NYC for a business trip, and the boys and I spent the day at my parents' house preparing for my sister's wedding open house. It went really well, except it was so hot today, nearly 95.

When I got back tonight at 8:30, I put the kids to bed then remembered to check on the mice.

They looked odd. All asleep, and rather oddly stiff.

Yes, they were dead.

DEAD!

Seven babies (two had died the first day or two) and the mom and dad.

I freaked out and called a friend over as a reinforcement. She watched as I cleaned out the cage, yes, I did accidentally drop one of the babies on the floor. It was really quite traumatic.

And, I'm so glad Jaxon can't read and doesn't know we have a blog.

So, I did talk to Mark briefly, and he sounds really upset with me. We discussed telling the children the truth, but I'd really rather tell them that I left the lid open and the mice escaped. Jaxon was already in tears tonight because he lost one of his new Bakugons at the open house (oh, and I was telling him about the Secret Garden, which we listened to on the way home). He sniffled himself to sleep.

This will break his heart and I have no idea what to do.
My BFF Leslie suggested that I not tell him before school, so I cleverly hid the cage in the garage, well in the van to be precise, because he might go in the garage in the morning.

Some suggestions I've heard:
Buy a new pet before he gets home: a puppy, a turtle, etc.
Make a funeral treat to take the edge off the bad news.

Any other ideas? What should I do?

Embarassing Personal Confession #4

This morning my friend, Teresa, and I went out with our kids.

She jogged and I roller bladed while we both pushed our kids in strollers.

I didn't have to slow down AT ALL. We were the same speed. Yep. Me, with wheels, and her with just her feet.

_sigh_

Is That So, Jaxon?

Costume Comic

After school on Monday:

Jaxon: "Vincent and Zander told me the Easter Bunny isn't real. It's just a costume."

Me: "Oh, really? What did you say?"

Jaxon: Pointing to a picture he's colored of the Easter Bunny (in it's regular bunny fur).
"They're wrong, Mom. See, there's no costume on the Easter Bunny."

Swordfish Story

Today Jaxon wore a new shirt that was bright green with tiny embroidered swordfish.

Me: "Did anybody say anything about your new shirt, Jaxon?"

Jaxon: "Mr. West liked it, but River made fun of it."

Me: "What did River say?"

Jaxon: in a mock taunting voice "Swordfish? I thought nobody had a swordfish on their shirt."

Deep Thought (though slightly depressing)

I was looking for a photo of me with red hair (October 2004, anyone?) and I came across this.
Jaxon and Baby Asher playing on the couch in early 2006.

I saw this photo and thought, "I loved this! I love being a mom!"

It gives me great hope to know that the dirty diapers and dirty floors, the screaming and fighting, the sleepless nights, and the needs to be held stresses of mothering will someday blend together to a nice fuzzy memory of motherhood.

But, then I remembered a study that shows that children remember more of the bad than the good. For example, some of my strongest childhood memories were about fear or disappoinment (some my parent's fault, and others not).

Thus the irony is that while I drag on day by day in the mire that is motherhood, I will one day have nice fuzzy memories to replace some of the agonizing daily endurances. On the other hand, my children, who live life mostly in ignorant bliss, will have nagging negative memories of childhood (hopefully with a few positive ones).

But perhaps I'm being overdramatic. Maybe there's more of a balance for all of us.

Easter!

A Little Perspective

Sometimes all I need to be happy, fulfilled woman is a little perspective.

Take today, for example (it's only half over, mind you).
Jaxon has the day off of school, so I took all the boys to the gym with me. On the way home we stopped and played at the park.

The weather was perfect 75 and a beautiful breeze. All 4 of us piled on the teeter-totter, and we giggled and played for a long time. Then the boys discovered the tire swing and I put all three of my boys (conicidentally wearing red shirts) on the tire swing and they had so much fun they would not get off. Lastly, we ended up at the twisty slide, making a four-person train (which was very slow, thanks to me).

It's easy during idyllic times like this to recognize what a wonderful life I have and how sweet my boys are. They are just adorable and I love watching them grow.

When we came home, I helped Jaxon and Asher color Easter eggs while practicing my photography. (Thanks, Nate for the recommendation. That book is awesome) Jaxon was absolutely thrilled. He's been talking about Easter eggs for months now.

Then Jaxon started talking about our pregnant mouse (remember the one who went to the ER vet?). He described the other mouse and how he was taking care of his wife because she was going to have babies. It was really sweet. He understands a lot about relationships and caring for creatures.

After getting my sister Cami off to the airport, we returned home to put Ash and Finn down for naps. Only Asher didn't want to go to bed.
So, he screamed and when I picked him up, he hit me with a metal spoon.
On the head.
Hard.
I cried and put him in his room (he was crying, too).

It's all about perspective.

Sometimes achieving good perspective is more difficult than other times.

For Heaven's Sake, it's a Mouse!

For those of you who missed this big change in our family, we recently acquired a mouse. (It was a wedding gift to Cami, some kind of inside joke from a friend). Well Cami didn't want the mouse and Jaxon did. So we got Sami, the mouse. Then we bought her a friend (no idea if it's male or female).

Last night, the mouses' wheel overturned on top of Sami, and when I took it off, she started convulsing and writhing. It looked really sad/disgusting. Mark was very upset with me (for ever consenting to allow animals in the house and for placing the cage in a child accessible location) and the kids (for bothering the poor mice). Jaxon was in hysterics because he thought the mouse was dying. He kept reassuring himself, "Her eyes are open, she's alive." It was really sad, but he prayed for the mouse's health that night. (he even prayed twice, to make sure he was clear on what he was asking for). It was really sweet.

Did I mention the new mouse escaped today? Well, I guess Asher let him out. But, we had to chase him around the room for 20 minutes until I finally caught him and put him back. It was really scary for me, I can't imagine how the mouse felt.

Back to the convulsing.
So, after I went to bed Mark took Sami the mouse to an Pet ER. No kidding.
The Vet told Mark it was a girl (we weren't sure before) and that she probably had brain damage, as she leans to the left when she walks. He gave her cortisone shots and some other treatment to the tune of $150.

Mark didn't get home until midnight.

He says that if we have to euthanize her, it will be $50.

Luckily, she's doing better today. She's walking around and has stopped convulsing.

Am I the only one who thinks that taking a mouse to the vet is crazy?

Mark says if we have a pet, we have to take care of it. And if he's going to do it, I guess that's just fine.

First Photo Shoot

I told my friends that I'm trying to start my own photography business.
So Danielle and her family offered to be my first guinea pigs.
Here's a few teasers and the rest are on my webalbum.





For those photography experts out there.
Nearly all my photos came out too dark. I took them during the day, how can I fix that?

Mark's Birthday

Mark turned the big 31 this year, so we didn't do anything extra special, just the regular special ;)

Our family tradition (which we get from my family of origin) is to wake up the birthday person with a doughnut and a candle, singing "Happy Birthday." This year I got it on film, and halfway through filming realized Jaxon was the only one singing, oops!, so I helped him finish the song.

Then Asher lovingly offers Daddy some tasty pastry, which he apparently did not want to eat at the crack of dawn while he was still 90% asleep.

I thought he did eat is, so I was a little surprised to find chocolate smeared on the sheets. Yep, that's what I get for continuing this tradition.

For the evening, our friends Meghan and Brandon came over with their two kids and had dinner with us. My dad and brother, David, came too.
Mark opened his present and got, exactly what he asked for! An I-pod Touch.
This is probably one of the only times I've actually gotten Mark what he asked for. I didn't buy it on craigslist or refurbished, I paid FULL PRICE. It was very hard for me to do that, so Mark knows how much I love him.

And I do.

Happy Birthday, Toad.

Uncle David's Visit

Mark's brother David spent his spring break with us last week. He's playing trumpet up at Snow College and came down to sunny Arizona to get away from the cold.

David will be doing a service mission for our church this summer in Nauvoo. He'll be playing trumpet in a brass band as part of the historical festivities that they do over there (I've never been, but maybe this summer is the time to go!). When he finishes there, he'll serve a two year full-time mission somewhere else (we don't know yet). So, we may or may not see him for 2.5 years. We're really glad he came to visit and took a lot of photos while he was here.

Here are some photos from the visit. We went to the zoo, Amazing Jakes, and the park (where Jaxon and David both rode scooters down a concrete hill and got scraped up). There are even a few photos of Mark and David's grandpa Barney who came to visit from San Diego for a few hours.

As you browse the photos, notice the number of times you see David texting. He and his friend Megan spent a lot of time conversing via text. It was to the point where he would check and respond in the middle of conversations, Wii games, you name it. So, imagine my amusement at this conversation.

Me: "So, Dave, is Megan your girlfriend?"
Dave: "No, we're just friends. I'm going on a mission and don't want to get too attached."
Me: "Attached? You text her every 3.5 seconds! I don't know how you could get MORE attached!"

*full disclosure (I am now friends with Megan on Facebook. I like her, she seems nice.)

Nightmare

Today was a stressful day. Not so unlike the day I recorded last month.

I was juggling too many things on my plate, searching library archives online, planning a retreat, returning calls, delivering old bras for a humanitarian project (I know?!), communicating about the change of time for the BBQ, deciding which of 7 events scheduled today we were actually going to attend, helping my sister through a health crisis, answering calls from Mark's work, reading to the kids, going to Costco, perparing for company coming into town Saturday, returning emails, Cub Scout drama, talking to Hemophilia Association folks about advocacy, reviews, and tonight's conference call, and taking Jaxon and his friend Ethan to soccer practice.

Which is actually where the nightmare begins.

Danielle and I switched Ethan for Asher and she took my food to the BBQ early while I took Finn and the kindergartners to soccer practice.

While watching the kids play, I got acquainted with the coach's wife, Wendy, with whom it turns out, I graduated from high school. We chatted about our kids and I occassionally chased Finn off the soccer field.

When it was time to go, I hurried because I parked in the way of some other cars and we were late for the BBQ (and I was thinking of half of the things on my list above). I hurried and folded up my blanket, grabbed two water bottles, both sets of soccer pictures (Jaxon is making a goofy face) and marched up the hill with my arms full and two soccer players behind me.

As we pulled out, I looked back urgently and when I saw that the boys were buckled in the back seat, I breathed a sigh of relief and headed 2.5 miles away to the park where we were having dinner.

Mark and I pulled in the parking lot at the same time. I turned around to hand Ethan his photos while the boys climbed out and saw

Finn's empty carseat.

I went into shock. I ordered the boys out quickly and told Mark that I left Finn at the soccer field.

It was the longest 5 minute drive of my life. I ran a red light at the very end just to see my baby a minute sooner.

Luckily, a few of the families were still there, just as I'd left them nearly 10 minutes earlier. They were chatting and helped Finn come my direction when I pulled up. Obviously, they were waiting for me to figure out what I had done and come claim my son. One father was really nice, "Don't feel bad, my wife's done this before. We've all been there."

My feelings of shame, desperation, embarrassment, and gratitude were overpowering and I choked back tears as I held my baby closer and with more tenderness than I have in a while.

As I buckled my happy little guy into his carseat, he started to fuss. He was hungry and wanted to be back toddling around in the grass, not confined to the car. It amused me that he was less happy now that I had him safely back in my car. I was infinitely more happy.

The lesson of the day?

Something's gotta give.

If I have so much on my plate that I can forget my own CHILD then I am overbooked, overscheduled, overcommitted, oversomething.

So, simplicity is where it's at for me.

Paring down.

Cutting back.

For me, my sanity, and my family.

Geez, it's been a long day.

On Emma Smith

I spoke tonight at Enrichment about Emma Smith, wife of Joseph Smith the founder of our church. I chose to speak about her as a woman whom I admired.
Our theme was the birthday of the Relief Society, so it was quite fitting. I was a little nervous about the polygamy part, but it went over pretty well.

When I signed up to speak about a woman that I admire, I immediately thought of Emma Smith.
In the last year, I've done a lot of research about her, and including seeing the new movie about her life.

Through this research, the woman I've come to know and love is much more remarkable and resilient that I had imagined.

First, I want to talk about Emma's remarkable qualities, then I will speak to her resilience in the face of difficult trials.

Here are some of the roles Emma played in her long and rich life. Of course there are too many roles and stories to share tonight, but I just wanted to highlight some of the ones that impressed me.

Hostess: As she and Joseph moved from state to state, and home to home, Emma was constantly at the mercy of strangers. Later, in Nauvoo, Emma would repay this kindness by offering room and board to strangers and friends for the vast majority of her life. As wife of the Prophet, Emma also held banquets for dozens and sometimes hundreds of people in her own home. With the cooking technology of the time, this was quite a feat.

Manager: Emma managed the household affairs, buying and selling property, dealing with lodgers and tenants, organizing and aiding the church in countless ways.

Founding Mother: As the founding mother of the Relief Society, Emma used the keys that Joseph had turned to her to aid the temporal needs of the citizens of Nauvoo and protect the moral integrity of the Saints.

Nurse: In the 1800s, healthcare was so poor, Emma found herself caring for the sick nearly full-time. The number of people that she nursed back to health throughout her life is astounding, and she put her own health at risk every time she did so.

Everyday Mother: One of my favorite stories about Emma as a mother shows me that motherhood doesn't change that much, even over nearly 200 years.
One day when Julia, the eldest Smith child, was small she started to throw a tantrum. Apparently her behavior was mimicking that of Sidney Rigdon's daughter, Lacy. Emma is reported to have told Julia sternly, "Don't you go Lacy Rigdon on me."

Faithful: Emma's testimony of the Golden Plates, which she was never permitted to see, and later the Book of Mormon never left her. She testified of the book as the word of God throughout her life.

Advocate: During the last few years of Joseph's life, his safety was always in question. Emma corresponded on many occasions with the governor of Illinois in an attempt to clear her husband's name from wrongdoing.

Trials.

Many of us know something about Emma's trials. Her father, Isaac Hale, never approved of her marriage to young Joseph Jr. This was devastating for Emma. But, despite her close relationship with her parents, Emma stayed by Joseph's side for 17 years, until Joseph's death at Carthage Jail.

Of her many trials, the most difficult for me to imagine is the death of 6 of her 11 children in infancy. Burying baby after baby must have been excruciating for Emma, but she continued strong in her role as wife and mother. In addition to the pain of children dying, almost every time her babies were born, Joseph was gone, or departing for a long trip.

Another difficult trial in Emma's life was dealing with Joseph's polygamy. Despite her testimony of her husband as a man of God when moved upon by the Spirit of the Lord, Emma never believed that polygamy in the church had divine origins.
The inner struggle must have been great as she vacillated then acquiesced to Joseph and then Hyrum's pleadings over her accepting plural marriage.
And while she did for a short time support the celestial marriages that Joseph entered into, she would later change her mind over this issue, and would refuse to follow Brigham Young out West as they openly practiced polygamy.

In this way, Emma demonstrated integrity in an extremely difficult situation. On a lighter note, many years after Joseph's death, a boarder asked her where the doctrine of plural wifery came from. Emma's answer illustrated her opinion on the issue, "Straight from hell, Madam."

After the Saints had left Nauvoo, Emma remarried a man named Lewis Bidamon. Her marriage was relatively happy, but later in life she discovered a child her husband had fathered out of wedlock. When the mother of this child could no longer afford to care for him, she brought him to Emma. At this, the kind Emma raised him as her own, eventually employing his mother to work in the house so she could be close to her son.
On her deathbed, Emma joined the hands of her husband and this woman in a sign of her approval of their marriage after Emma's death.

Still, Emma's love for Joseph lived on. With her children at her side, Emma's dying phrase was, "Joseph, I'm coming!"

I've been told that in LDS history, Emma Smith occassionally gets a bad reputation for not coming with the Saints to Utah, or encouraging her children to lead church her husband founded. In my study, however, I believe that Emma was as admirable as any woman could possibly be in her situation. Taking a very difficult life and making it full, Emma served and loved those around her with grace and gratitude. Poise and humility. Intelligence and integrity.

In many ways, Emma exemplified the Christlike ability to bring something good out of something evil.
So many of Emma's experiences would have crushed a weaker woman, and yet she not only persevered, but blossomed and helped those around her to blossom as well.


Emma is the great founding mother of the Relief Society and she deserves our honor and respect.